If you do, I have the solution to your problem! It's called Facebook.
It's a magical world where you can discover the color of your aura, which Golden Girl or Kardashian sister you are, or even the personality of your inner unicorn.
It was late, I couldn't sleep, there was nothing to watch on TV... and as a consequence of insomniac-induced insecurity, I decided to find out more about myself. Surely Facebook could tell me all the things I was secretly needing to know.
Here are my results...
My musical key is G Minor. I have a flair for the dramatic. I'm argumentative, emotional, and I have a hot temper.
- This is true. I do have a hot temper. I am a redhead, after all.
If I were one of the Kardashian sisters, I would be Kourtney. I'm very stubborn. I hold grudges. But I also have a sweet and loving side.
- Yeah, I can see that. I always have had a problem with bitterness. Plus, Kourtney is the oldest sister, and I am in my family too.
If I were one of Shakespeare's characters, I'd be Viola or Rosalind. I don't give up easily, and I like to wear men's clothes.
- Okay, so while I may be tenacious and go after things I really want, men's clothing is not one of them. Or is it? I wonder what the Facebook quiz guru recognized in me that caused me to get this result?
I am a pink Sharpie.
- There was no explanation from Guru on this one. Maybe it just thinks I like pink. But I mostly wear black. What does this mean!?
My inner instrument is the clarinet. I am versatile with fingers of fire. I love speed. My enemy is the trumpet. My best friend is the oboe.
- But I played the alto saxophone! To think I was a clarinet this whole time? How could I have missed the truth within me for so long? Maybe I need to go back to school... Surely, the key to my absolute bliss lies in playing the clarinet and being besties with an oboe-player!
My inner pin-up girl is the typical housewife. I am a bright, happy girl. I am full of joy and always ready to help others. Sometimes I am a trouble-maker.
- I am a wife and mother, and I do live in a house. But it's not my house, so I don't know how typical that makes me. I thought I was happy, but am I missing my true calling? Somewhere out there is a typical house with my typical name on it, and I am supposed to have typical shutters and a typical white picket fence. Where's my typical husband and my typical son? My typical dog? What does that even mean???
My inner nationality is Swedish. I'm friendly, gentle, and modest. I have a good heart and a lusty nature. I have a well-developed sense of irony. I tend to understand people intuitively. I have a sense of insider vs. outsider and stick to people within my own circle. I am loyal and timid.
- Wait? I thought I was an American... Does this mean I'm going to be deported? I don't speak Swedish! I don't even know where Sweden is! This is bad. Really, really bad. Or does this mean that I'm adopted? And my parents never told me!?
Are these quiz results supposed to make me feel better? Somehow, I've been diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic! Which one of my personalities is Kourtney Kardashian? Is there a secret part of me that wants to wear Big Dog t-shirts and Birkenstocks!? Will I be shipped off to Sweden and forced to play the clarinet? Will the Swedes make me marry that typical husband and make typical babies with him?
I wonder if I can check these symptoms on WebMD?
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